Do we have to ‘suffer’ during our spiritual journey?

Categories: ConsciousnessBy Published On: 16 December 20225 min read

Inner growth, transformation, healing… All too often we interpret these words as ‘scary’, or we believe that they always come together with intense experiences and pain. But can we also look at these concepts from a different perspective?


I saw a video a while ago of someone who said that we have to go through all kinds of intense things in our awakening process in order to ‘grow’.

I immediately felt this wasn’t resonating with me and read someone’s comment to this video, saying, “We don’t come here to evolve through trauma or hard experiences: that’s programming! We’re here to solve the puzzle of who we are and raise our frequencies so we can exit our soul cage.” This was exactly how I feel it.

The moment I started to delve more into spirituality, it quickly became clear to me that spiritual groups focus a lot on trauma and pain.

The danger of this is that you can start thinking that the path of inner growth is always accompanied by pain and difficulties in life. This can cause us to self-sabotage when things seem to flow in our lives.

For example, you can develop a feeling of guilt or believe that something ‘bad’ must happen again for your ‘growth’.


For me, in many cases, it has been the challenge to feel happy and safe at times when everything seems to be going well. To dare to connect with others, to live life to the fullest, that felt super scary to me!

And precisely at times when I experienced that I could indeed rely on life, I made major growth steps. As if I dared to land a little further in my body at those moments.

And there are still moments when this energy comes up again. A kind of self-sabotage in myself, precisely at moments when everything seems to be going in a flow in my life. As if my inner saboteur then starts looking for ‘something’ to worry about. Coincidentally, at such a moment I pulled this card from Rumi, and I would like to share this message with you:

“Absolute trust is the best way to follow the law of love. This leaves you with quite a bit of energy that you might otherwise have expended through eternal worries and doubts. Well, I’m thrilled to see that you’re now twiddling your thumbs and wondering if you’re going to start worrying after all.

If you just surrender and have faith from now on, do you still have anything to do? Well, you can live your life, of course, but maybe you’d like to dance barefoot with me on the cool sand at midnight.”


Our mind is programmed in such a way that it always wants to be busy with something. It is programmed to survival mode. And that is not surprising, if you look at history and what has happened here on earth. And it is not at all strange since we descend from an ancestor line that has also experienced quite a bit of trauma (which we carry in our DNA).

So it can become our comfort zone to always worry about something, or to prepare for the ‘worst’. Doomsday scenarios, fear, worrying and recurring thought patterns keep us small in this way and prevent us from enjoying life to the fullest.


The path of transformation goes hand in hand with intensity, that is undeniable. But that’s mostly because we’re being confronted with the pain, beliefs and fears within ourselves that we buried somewhere deep. And those can also be memories and trauma’s from our ancestors.

This does not mean that ‘something’ has to ‘happen’ in your life. It’s an inner process. So it can actually feel that you are ‘grieving’, for example, while there is no reason for it in the external world.

Perhaps you are going through an inner grieving process because of the feeling that you have given away your own power and sovereignty. That you have lost faith in your own soul and have given your power away to something outside yourself. This hurts!

Maybe you’re also going through a lot of sadness in yourself because you’ve never really allowed yourself to enjoy life. Because you have always lived from self-sabotage and fear.

But if you can embrace everything you encounter within yourself (everything that was hidden away in the shadows), you make your inner transformation a lot easier.

Dare to step into the waves and let yourself be carried away. Don’t always expect tsunami waves, but also dare to float on calm waters. If you are not going to protest wildly, you can also float along calmly. Did you know that this is also a choice? Allow yourself the calm waters and become calm within.


After all, in the core we want to remember and embody our soul essence again in this life. And we are meant to release old patterns, beliefs and fears that prevent us from experiencing this soul essence.

As I just gave a number of examples about inner intense experiences that you can encounter in this, you can also encounter very great experiences that help you grow.

A loving comment or hug from someone, a strong positive synchronicity that makes you feel confident in life, or a sudden insight or new inspiration can also make that growth happen.

There are so many ways we can discover and transform new layers within ourselves. Try to become aware of this.


I know it’s not always easy to let go of mental programming, beliefs and fears just like that. If you are struggling with this, please feel free to contact me to find out how I can help you further!