I often hear from people who come to my retreats that they’ve been working on certain issues for years but feel like they’re stuck in the same cycles, never truly making a breakthrough. What I frequently observe is the absence of a safe inner foundation, and their relationship with themselves is not strong. When they try to ‘heal’ or change something, the lack of inner safety prevents genuine healing, and sometimes even seems to worsen certain patterns or fears. Why does this happen?
We often don’t realize that we are trying to heal ourselves from old patterns. We operate from a ‘doing mode,’ from the mind, believing that there’s something in ourselves we need to ‘fix,’ and that we are still not good, pure, or perfect enough.
Without realizing it, we are again operating from that old energy, from the underlying judgment that we are not good or pure enough. Unconsciously, we put ourselves under immense pressure and punish ourselves when we fail to meet our high ideals.
I always tell my retreat guests, as they head home, “Remember that you are human and that you may occasionally fall back into old patterns. Don’t be hard on yourself, but observe what happens, understand where it comes from (perhaps an old wound or defense mechanism), smile, and consciously make a different choice.” By doing this repeatedly, you lay a new foundation for change, and that will become your new reality. Because every time you criticize yourself, it only backfires.
True healing and inner growth start with a safe inner foundation. If we try to change while still lacking a healthy relationship with ourselves, we continue to go in circles and never really make a breakthrough. So, my advice is to always first work on your relationship with yourself. It sounds simple, but take a moment to honestly reflect on the following for yourself:
- How do you talk to yourself? Are your words supportive and loving?
- Where do you let yourself down, and where do you set boundaries?
- How often do you listen to your intuition (or have you forgotten what your intuition feels like)?
- How often do you make time for yourself and recharge your own batteries?
- To what extent do you feel connected to your body and soul in your daily life?
This is your foundation!
From this foundation, you can set the intention that you are ready to receive healing/insights regarding specific issues. Not from a standpoint of ‘okay, now I will fix this,’ but by tuning into your body and soul and indicating that you are ready. When you have a foundation of self-love—then your body (and nervous system) feels safe. If there is enough love and that inner safety exists, then your body will naturally purify and bring to the surface whatever does not resonate with this love.
That’s the beauty of it! We often forget how intelligent our body is and how much wisdom our soul possesses. And that when we create a safe inner base, healing comes naturally. It is especially powerful when you start your morning with the following: tune into your body and soul, and indicate that you would like to receive healing/insights regarding a specific issue. Then stay well tuned to your body and the signals you receive. You might suddenly feel the urge to move your body in a particular way, to shake, to breathe deeply, to say something, to draw something, or emotions may begin to flow. Follow these natural impulses. This is your body knowing exactly what it needs to do to release old frozen energy.
I always say: ‘you have to get out of the way‘—then things can energetically shift. And by that, I primarily mean; leave your mind out of it. It wants to make stories, maintain control, fix things, etc. This has become a habit, but when you step into that energy, the old energy (the energy that wants to move and purify) becomes fixed again. It’s really about surrendering to our deeper wisdom and following it.
Naturally, this isn’t always easy if there’s still a lot of inner insecurity. Maybe you find it very difficult to connect with your body, your emotions, or your feelings. It could be that due to certain traumas, beliefs, or patterns, there’s a perceived blockage. But start by working on that relationship with yourself (those points I mentioned earlier). You will naturally feel when you’re ready to go deeper.
If you find it challenging to start this on your own, you are welcome to join me for an individual or small group retreat in Sweden. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Here you can find the links of my services:
– Grounding and aligning meditation-activation (free)
– Online trajectory
– Private retreat in Sweden
– Small-scale group retreat in Sweden
– Courses and meditations page
