Unsafety in women’s friendships
I’d never thought I would be able to feel safe around women. My first experiences with groups of women felt so unsafe, and this continued over the years. Not only ‘groups’ but also friendships. I’ve seen so much different kinds of behavior, from excluding each other, gossiping, manipulation, jealousy, and competition. Even if there were always ‘friends’, I always felt I had to be very aware of how I behaved and what parts of myself I could (or couldn’t) show. So I started to create a version of me that was not really me. Just in order to ‘survive’.
But also one on one friendships were sometimes painful. Finding out that someone was not happy for me when things went well in my life (jealousy again), but also claiming behavior, where I felt I was drained all the time. There was a point that I felt I had to say goodbye to some friendships, and I did.
Healing the friendship-wound
It felt so freeing after I had let go of some friendships! But during those years I also kind of gave up. I really believed that friendships weren’t for me and that I could never really trust other women. Sounds very sad, but at the same time it gave me the opportunity to become my own best friend. I had to go through layers of loneliness and sadness, of not feeling seen on a deeper level by other women.
But after that, a new foundation within myself occured. This foundation created a feeling like ‘I’m open to new friendships, but ONLY if there’s a true connection. Otherwise I will be fine without’. So during those years I carefully opened up towards other people. Sometimes I opened up and I found out it was a ‘red flag’ and said goodbye again. But other times I found out that there really are women that are genuine and with whom I can connect on a deeper level, while being fully my authentic self. In the beginning it was scary to open up again, but lot’s of beautiful exchanges happened. Some of them became good friends, and others were just there for a short moment.
I can now say that I have a few very good friends. There is no jealousy, competition or agenda’s. Just unconditional support and safety. They are there when I struggle, but are also cheering me on when things go well.
Never hiding my true self anymore
I never hide my true self anymore. If people don’t like me, that’s fine. But the interesting thing I’ve experienced, is that the more I dare to be myself, the more beautiful resonating connections I attract. My one on one retreats and group-retreats are a wonderful example of that. I get to meet the most interesting, loving and unique souls from all over the world. And they all show me the power of true women connection.
The true power of women coming together
I’ve experienced magical energetic exchanges with women. For example:
- I went to a private lake with a good friend of mine and we just felt we had to sit on the rock close to the water. We also felt that we wanted to close our eyes and meditate a bit together. Very soon we saw all those beautiful colors and energies working around us. We heard the same kind of messages coming through and it felt as if we were in another dimension together. This just happened automatically, by us just allowing those energies to work through us.
- I visited another good friend here in Sweden and I talked with here about a situation I struggled with. She was like ‘oh come, we are going to feel into that together!’. We sat on a chair and we closed our eyes and focused on the topic. I felt energy moving in my body and she started seeing all kinds of symbolic visions and messages. She told me what she saw and I immediately understood the message of it. Together we unraveled the true meaning of what we felt.
- During one of my group-retreats we went with the 4 of us into the Swedish forest. We were walking on the path and suddenly I felt that I wanted to go left, into the wildernis. I saw that the other women were also looking into that direction. I shared what I felt and they were so happy because they felt it too. We went into the woods and intuitively picked a spot in between a kind of rock circle, where we stood still and connected with that place. One by one, a woman took place in the middle of our group and shared a theme she wanted clarity about/healing on. After that, we automatically, as a group, started doing energywork. Some of us took a certain spot in nature and stood there while holding the energy, another gave intuitive messages and we supported each other to let go of old emotions while doing intuive exercises. Tears started flowing, but there was also lots of laughter! It was such a magical ánd natural experience. No one knew what we were ‘doing’, it just ‘happened’. This is just a short example, but I experience those moments every time during the group-retreats. Even though I know how energy ‘works’, I’m still in ‘awe’ everytime it happens.
Those examples show me the power of women coming together. The energy starts flowing automatically, insights come through. Just by connecting with each other.
Safety & healing during my group-retreats in Sweden
As I already said, during the group retreats I’m still surprised every time how easy it goes.. Even women who have not really practised before with energy; it just comes naturally to them. It’s just part of who we are. So for me it’s a matter of facilitating safety in the group and guiding them in the process (which is mostly encouraging them to trust their own intuition), and then energy starts to flow.
I have seen that it is so healing when a small group of women comes together and dare to be vulnerable. They feel seen on a deeper level. They can be fully authentic without being judged. Facilitating those groups makes my heart so happy!
Because now I KNOW what women are truly capable of. In their core they hold so much love for each other. I’ve now seen many times how women are able to see the beauty in one another. How they want each other to succeed. And how they hold each other in moments of pain.
This makes the group-retreats a beautiful moment to heal your wounds regarding female relationships/friendships. Because women coming together are truly powerful.
If you’re interested in joining one of my group-retreats, CLICK HERE for the coming dates. We only work in small groups (so there’s only 4 women that can join the retreat). This creates a really safe space. You’re welcome! 🙂
